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“The duty to oneself means self-respect or self-development. Not selfishness—and certainty not blind adherence to others or to religion or the past. Such development of the individual requires examination and education. And if there is education, there will be less susceptitilty to the power of others—and if there is examination, there will be more genuine power in the self.”—referencing the philosophy of John Stuart Mill, as included in Austen At Sea by Natalie Jenner
Humility and courage.
Patience and persistence.
Dedication and trust.
Rather than self-improvement, self-development acknowledges we always have value but we may not have full realized it yet. Self-development also underscores that the journey is a process that must be chosen, and the process itself, not just the outcome, are of great value, whereas improvement implies a lack that can only be valued when the end point or goal is reached. Lastly, and most importantly, as you gain self-efficacy discovering your true self’s talents and curiosities, you realize you are not a commodity and have something uniquely to share with the world (‘share’ because you both are giving, but also gaining from the giving as it energizes you as well). Thus, self-development is a priceless choice.
The beauty as well as challenge of choosing to continually self-develop ourself, to better get to know our true self, and the gifts we each uniquely have, is that no matter what the skill that we learn, when we apply it to our life, the outcome will be different than everyone else who may have learned the same skill. Why? Because we are similar to Mother Nature or a slab of marble, a piece of marble that cannot replicate the same veins as another piece of marble. Once the chiseling has occurred, even if the outcome is to create a statue of the same particular object, the veining will be unique that runs through it.
To develop oneself as opposed to self-improve is to understand that we have something unique within us, we just need to choose to learn the skills to bring it forth.
When we take the time, exercise the discipline, set aside our ego, we contribute not only to our life journey, elevating its quality, but to the greater world. For when we find what is within us, we find peace upon stepping into the flow of expressing or sharing whatever it may be. We no longer envy, no longer find the need to compare or compete, but instead celebrate others while finding energy and fulfillment in our own path. So no, self-development cannot be selfish. In fact, it is quite the opposite.
The skills to learn to further our personal development are endless just as there are infinite knowledge sectors we may want to become more skilled in. But to begin with, general skills we all can find value in for our life toolbox, many of which are detailed in TSLL’s 2nd book – Living The Simply Luxurious Life, are emotional intelligence, shifting from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset, mindfulness, non-violent communication, critical thinking, setting boundaries while also knowing how to find ease in being vulnerable, and then a seemingly simple, yet often dismissed, but oh so powerful skill, appreciation.
Once we begin to learn and apply these skills, our awareness is strengthened, and we begin to make more constructive decisions in all areas of our life. Why? Because we are seeing with clarity we didn’t before possess.
Here are a few more benefits of choosing continually grow or self-develop.
The Benefits of Continual Self-Development
1. Clarity about our direction and priorities
2. Confidence increases
3. Healthier relationships (new or improvement of continuing relationships)
4. Increased creativity
5. Open-mindedness
6. Greater resilience
7. Improved health in all areas – physical, mental, emotional, social, spiritual, etc.
At the core of choosing self-development is trusting that even if we haven’t figured out our direction yet, our purpose, our calling, our [insert the phrase that speaks to the engine that will propel your life and elevate its enjoyment and feeling of contribution to the greater world], we know that it is something that we can find. The journey of finding it will just take time and conscious decision making, along with stick-to-it-iveness to realize our true self.
Self-development eventually leads us each to unearthing our dharma which is at the foundation of living a life of contentment. How we incorporate our dharma into our life will be tailored to our life – how we prefer to live, our relationships, etc. Once we know this valuable piece of information, we have found the key that we have been looking for. Now, what we must do with that information is gather up our courage and apply it.
The self-development doesn’t stop at this point of discovery. Nope, it simply becomes more refined, and we become more trusting of the process of learning something new because we see the value in doing so. In many ways, with each aha we make along our self-development journey, we gather momentum that continues propelling us forward as we experience more and more benefits of choosing this nourishing approach to living.
Ultimately, we give ourselves freedom, and while some may feel discombobulated with such an opportunity-rich landscape, because we have increased our confidence, we know what an awesome gift we have been given and choose to soar. Our soaring inspiring others to trust the journey of their own self-development as we do.
~Learn more about TSLL’s Contentment Masterclass here.
~SHOP THE BOOKS seen in the photo:
- The Courage to Be Disliked
- Mindfulness
- Mind Your Mindset
- Buddha’s Brain
- Nonviolent Communication
- How to Be an Adult in Relationships
- The Way of Integrity
- Emotional Freedom
SIMILAR POSTS YOU MIGHT ENJOY
episode #405: How to Be Loving to Ourselves which Allows Us to Heal
episode #17: 4 Healthy Habits for Continual Self-Growth
episode #101: Growth is a Choice — 11 Ways to Grow-Up
Curiosity in general has been the guide for my own particular voyage of self-development through the years, as it would lead to questions about, definition of, and the fine-tuning of my personal zeitgeist, and how that can fit and work with all other’s and the world’s. As you rightly point out Shannon, self-development does not lead to a finite end of information-gathering: one moment of discovery will naturally propel you further and/or out into further opportunities and discoveries; and the freedom to not just be yourself, but to be able to say to yourself, “I am proud of you.” It is never too late to learn–or unlearn–and never too late to go on a delicious voyage of discovery.
Re: ‘The Courage To Be Disliked’ — excellent read, the ideas are clearly presented, loved the format, filled with wonderful ponderings. I highly recommend. And many thanks for recommending it to us😊
Thanks, Shannon, great post! Love to Nelle. xx
Thank you for stopping by Rona and for sharing your recommendation for The Courage to Be Disliked – such a great book.