When the world seems restless or the day wants us to stride at a bustling pace, but we know better if we’re going to have a good day. We know that our effectiveness, our contentment, remains when we consciously go about our days differently, and it is the anchors we choose to include in our daily life that provide this quiet certainty.

But wait, you might say – certainty is a false notion! And absolutely, you would be correct as it pertains to the world around us and unfoldings of tomorrow and even the next minute. But where certainty can be found is in how we engage with the moment, how we hold our mind and its thoughts, and so we have our carefully cultivated anchors that for us alone, we know that they provide nourishment.

The anchors in our daily life can be as simple as taking a deep breath followed by a restorative exhale, or they can be the sanctuary we have designed in our life over years of thoughtful consideration of what brings us calm. Because when we know how to arrive at a place of calm all on our own, we hold the keys to anchoring our days in peace. And that isn’t dependent on any news cycle or a catch-up session with family or friend. It solely depends on each of us to be the wise sailor of our daily lives.

While an anchor may sound like a routine or a ritual, it is actually the foundation upon which we establish routines and savor our chosen rituals more deeply (read this post to explore the difference between a routine and a ritual). An anchor gives us something dependable to return to again and again. Where we form our habits and settle our mind so we can choose the mindset that would be most beneficial for living well.

To categorize types of anchors, we can designate them according to our senses: visual, smell (olfactory), taste (gustatory), touch & movement (kinesthetic), and sound. Where we are during our day, what resources we have access to and what we need will determine the type of anchor to choose.

For example, the easiest anchor is often our visual anchors because they can be both external (our environment – decor, clothing, architecture, Mother Nature, images, etc.) and internal (visualization). Smells are most sensitive, and will depend on each person as to which we invite, create, or surround ourselves with. Sound comes in the form of both music and external noise as well as what we say out loud to ourselves (mantras, affirmations, etc.) and how we speak to others – the tone and focus that reveals our perspective and affects our mood. And since we all need to eat, becoming more conscious about what we do eat and how it makes us feel is a worthwhile exploration to better understand constructive anchors and their counterparts.

Let’s take a look at 19 ways we can each anchor ourselves throughout our daily lives to experience calm and, as a result, feel a quiet confidence.

1. Deep and conscious breathing

“Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor.” —Thich Nhat Hanh

The simplest, easiest, and cheapest anchor we can incorporate into our daily lives is something we always have with us – our ability to take a deep breath in, and then release it slowly and completely. Repeating this inhale and exhale physiologically calms our body and mind as it communicates with the vagus nerve, which runs throughout our entire body from the tips of our toes to the tips of our fingertips and top of our head, along with everything in between.

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2. Music that speaks to our tastes

From the playlists we put together and play for certain moods we want to feel throughout our day, to the app of our favorite station that we can listen to wherever we are at anytime of day, when we know whether it creates the state of mind that we want that is constructive, this is an anchor to keep welcoming into our days and nights.

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3. Nourishing company

For each of us, this will be unique. Bespoke clothing works much the same way as consciously choosing our company. Whether it is the company we choose to live with in our home, the company we keep regarding our friendships, the acquaintances we choose to have conversations with and what we talk about, as well as the company we return to at work in the break room, in the office, behind the scenes away from the public that we serve, when we choose well for our needs, everyday life is either infused with ease or dampened with discomfort. We want to choose company that energizes or calms us, whatever it might be that we need. We don’t want to choose company that fuels our worries or negativity, draining our finite resources of energy and discipline.

For me, Nelle (my pup) provides so much nourishing company. This has been the case all of my life – animals as daily company. This will not be the case for everyone. However, the people I do choose to share time with our people that are bravely embracing life and avoid complaining or negativity. This is not to say the people I enjoy being around are Polly-Annas, but rather there is an appreciation of life, an awareness of self and their own agency in how life is going, and they don’t dwell on what they cannot change or is out of their control (the weather for example if it isn’t to their liking 😉).

Nelle’s company on our walks and runs gives me motivation to keep challenging myself to stay fit and healthy, my neighbors’ kind words about my garden remind me that it is worth investing in my community and sharing what I can uniquely give that also gives me joy, my friends inspire me to be a better human with their generosity, clear communication, and courage to be loving.

Each day, there is an opportunity for every one of us to choose well the company we keep (and the company we will be when we are with others). When we our thoughtful about this choice, this becomes an anchor of dependable nourishment.

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4. Fresh air and sun and moonlight

Even if just to step outside during our work break to feel the breeze or the warmth of the sun unobstructed on our skin, face, back, you get the idea, make sure to take a moment to do so. Immediately, our nervous system responds by calming itself and becoming regulated. Nearly as simple as breathing deeply, knowing the power of Mother Nature’s fresh air is a key to keep with us at all times.

Similarly, natural sunlight and even moonlight when the night sky is clear, provide a calming effect. The gentle light in the morning as well as at dusk or early evening, and then the faint light the moon provides, comparable to the sun, just being able to see these magnificent orbs (or slices of them in the moon’s case, as it moves through its cycle) can help to keep things in perspective as well.

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5. An inconsequential challenge for the mind

The brainteaser that is regularly shared on our favorite radio program by our morning or evening host, or a podcast mini-episode that tickles our mind with a factoid we didn’t already know about a subject we are most curious about. Or maybe it is the daily Wordle, Connection, Mini, Midi, or Full Crossword puzzle. Or for the math folks, Nerdle! (Explore Thinky Games or Brain Basher for more creative puzzles that are offered daily.)

Choose a puzzle of choice that you enjoy, yet isn’t guaranteed that you will solve with ease every time. For me, I began to up my Connections percentage by finally figuring out strategies that work well with the game’s design. Figuring out that approach was a fun challenge as well, and each morning I look forward to improving my percentage of successfully solved puzzles. Inconsequential in that it doesn’t affect my day one way or another depending on if I solve it or not, but for a small window of time my entire focus is tethered to the game – an anchor I absolutely enjoy.

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6. Delicious, yet healthy snacks

I recently began eating one banana a day, something I had never done, and now it is a habit I love. A delicious banana mid-morning after our walk and before I sit down in the office satiates me and is super simple. Being rich in potassium, a banana helps absorb sodium, reducing bloating and making me feel better while also curbing spontaneous snacking on unhealthy foods.

Similarly, having high quality dark chocolate bars in my fridge are a constant item I have on hand. Only enjoyed in the evenings, I set out 2-3 small squares on the kitchen counter for about an hour so that they come to room temperature (this ensures the full, intended flavor is enjoyed), and then pair with a nice hot cuppa to wind down the day. Yes, this is definitely an evening ritual as it is something I savor, but it also anchors me in the present moment, signifies that end of the day and soothes my being no matter how the day has unfolded.

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7. Daily exercise

A day without moving the body is an opportunity missed to naturally calm our nervous system and thus reduce stress. It also elevates our mood immediately following whichever activity we have chosen.

However challenging or leisurely the activity as we will mix up what we do from day to day to give our body time to rest from challenging workouts on certain days throughout the week, simply by moving our body, letting the muscles work, the tendons and ligaments be engaged, we show appreciation for being alive and well, and that alone is an exercise in awareness.

~Listen/Read episode #402 for a glimpse into my physical fitness routine currently, episode #201 for tips on designing a strength training program that works for you, and episode #190 for simple tips on getting and staying fit.

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8. Meditation

An anchor that provides a resting spot for the mind as the day begins and before we turn in for the night, meditation is simple and powerful in its ability to calm our thoughts, reminding us that we are in control of whether we will engage with them or simply observe them.

By incorporating this anchor into our days, once, twice or maybe even three times a day for as little as three minutes (even one minute) at a time, we exercise the muscle of being mindful, being present and strengthening our ability to refrain from reacting to all of the stimuli around us on any given day.

One of the primary reasons I wanted to offer the limited meditation series (a 52-week series) was to make available a tool for TSLL readers to strengthen this skill as you feel comfortable doing so along your journey of cultivating a life of contentment. Un Moment of Méditation (explore the full series here in the Archives in the Meditation category) is a short mini-episode/post that begins with a brief insight into the skill of meditation and then concludes with a 3-5 minute guided meditation.

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9. A clean home

Recently, after being out of town for a couple of days, upon returning home, doing so felt deeply restorative. And a large part of why this was the case was because the house, Le Papillon, was clean. Even though my trip had gone very well, I was eager to return home (and Nelle was too), knowing that my house was clean, everything in its place, a clean kitchen, mopped floors, and an organized office. I typically will make sure that whenever I leave my home for a couple of days or a long trip, that it is clean to ensure this feeling can be experienced when I return home. However, the same feeling can be had in our everydays as well by keeping our home tidy and uncluttered.

This doesn’t mean we have to be obsessive, but our thoughtfulness will go a long way to being a source of calm in our daily life. From putting dishes in the dishwasher immediately after a meal or a snack, to spot-cleaning here and there as we see it is necessary to making the bed upon waking up, again, nothing fancy, but put into its place.

When we see our home as a source of nourishment, tending to keeping it clean (yet lived in) becomes easier to want to do, and so we do so while we are going about our day. Folding up the throw we snuggled under after we get up from the sofa, creating systems that work with our life – a large basket in the boot & basket room for boxes to be recycled after we go through our delivered packages or having a vacuum handy (maybe in the garage to immediately clean our vehicle after returning from a walk with our pups so we quickly stay on top of dirt and outside particles that travel from our trails to the car), these thoughtful habits reduce the uncleanliness from getting out of hand and ensure our homes stay clean along the way until we give it a good regular clean whether that is monthly, bi-weekly or weekly.

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10. Reading material at the ready

By already having on-hand reading material, we give our mind an outlet of focus that is chosen by us and guarantees we know what we will be exploring (even if we don’t know what the next chapter, daily entry or story will offer). What I mean by this latter statement is that we are choosing the type of content we are reading rather than being held at the mercy of a television channel, streaming service, or social media feed, all of which are full of unknowns of what will pop up next. When we curate our reading material – hold-in-our-hand content (whether an actual book, physical newspaper, journal, magazine, or Kindle/reading tablet), we decide what we are filling our mind with. We are the curator of what we feed our thoughts.

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11. Time in the garden

If we have a garden, no matter what the size, stepping out into it, surrounded by its potential, its blooms, the soil and all of the fauna – birds, bees, insects, frogs, butterflies, and more, our mind and body are instantly encouraged to relax. Whether we actually potter within our garden or simply stand and stare in delight or sit down and let the birdsong be the music of choice for the moment, this anchor of Mother Nature is a balm.

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12. An activity that furthers your growth while simultaneously bringing you joy, no matter how seemingly small

Attending the language learning class after work, reading a book on a subject we want to learn more about, visiting a favorite type of shop or business that surrounds us with fellow aficionados of a certain interest. For me, at the moment, this is my weekly Scrabble meet-up. It’s casual, it’s challenging yet fun, and in the back of my mind throughout the week, I am pondering how I can improve.

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13. Playing a musical instrument

For any amateur, and of course professional musician, choosing to play your instrument each day, no matter how long, provides an anchor as your focus is entirely on what you are doing, even if you are playing by rote memory a piece you have played for years, even decades. The benefits are plentiful, and if you’ve ever wanted to return to an instrument you used to play or learn to play an instrument, choosing to do so will assuredly be a gift of nourishment you give to yourself for many years to come.

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14. Have water handy to drink at anytime

From the moment we wake up, so having a glass of water by our bed (perhaps drinking it in the middle of the night as needed), to having a water bottle in our car that is always topped off, to carrying a water bottle with us throughout our day at work, our easy access to hydration will prevent reaching for food when what we need is just that – to be hydrated. It will also cleanse our palate, freshen our breath (subtly), and perk up our mind.

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15. Self-care practices tailored to your needs

Many of the anchors shared in today’s post would absolutely fall under the umbrella of a self-care practice, but I wanted to make sure to include this concept of self-care as a general reminder that we need to choose self-care as a regular ingredient of our lives. We may not engage with the same practice each day of the week or even once a week, but knowing what will anchor us following an exhausting experience of any kind grounds us and brings us back to our baseline of ease and calm. In this post/episode #242 I share 31 Ways to Practice True Self-Care, and below is another post that explores the necessity of incorporate self-care into our life.

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16. A set of baseline ingredients always in your fridge and pantry

Something we’ve talked about quite a bit here on TSLL, and teach in detail in the Intro to French Cooking: Everyday Deliciousness class, is having a well-stocked kitchen, but not excessively so. This again comes down to knowing ourselves and how to feed ourselves well. In my own fridge, I have designated certain sections and containers to have select items always stocked because I eat or cook with them either each week at least, and many, each day. From lemons to grapes, my proteins, French and Italian cheeses, fresh greens and eggs, all of them have a ‘home’ in the fridge that I can reach to for creating or enjoying simple, yet delicious and healthy meals.

Knowing my diet (approach to eating, not a system of restriction) is supported so that I feel well throughout my day and am taking good care of myself, gives me peace of mind and anchors me in the knowledge that this important life detail is taken care of. I can then focus on what I need and want to in each day.

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17. Clothes that support the life you love living

As much as I appreciate a well-styled ensemble worn with confidence, it is the latter that is most important for living well, not constantly and forever being a shopper of clothes. The approach to clothes as part of a simply luxurious life is that they are put in their rightful place of being a support for living a life that fulfills us. Now if our life is one in which we are a stylist or fashion critic or, you get the idea, then absolutely, clothing and shopping for items constantly is part of our primary focus regularly, but for the rest of us, putting it in a constructive place will be an anchor of dependable nourishment.

So, that is why the new Signature Style series began this past January. Each month, a new and detailed post is shared to provide you with the tools for choosing how to purchase well clothing that will last and work for your life year-round (not seasonally, yet you will still inevitably buy certain items to only be worn during winter or summer for example).

Our clothing choices, what we have in our closet, become an anchor that eliminates fuss and stress that can be caused when we don’t have what we need to live the life we love and tend to the responsibilities we have chosen. When we choose a certain outfit, we immediately are ready to fill a particular role or partake in a certain activity – our workout clothes, our pajamas, our pant suit, a particular dress – the point is, our clothing helps to put us in the mindset we need to do well what we are about to set about doing. Part Une/One is below, and you can click through from one post to the next of the series. Look for Part Quatre/Four next week on April 14th.

Step into your closet, open up your dresser drawers and know you have the clothing for work, for play, for leisure, for a restful night of sleep right at your fingertips and will for some time because you purchased wisely, know how to care for your investments and know yourself and what fits you best.

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18. Birdsong and birds themselves

Whether it is the dawn chorus that begins the day, the dusk chorus we listen to as we wind down our day and relax outside, or choosing to be mindful of the birds flitting about from tree to tree, limb to shrub to roofline, by paying attention to these magnificent creatures is a daily practice in exercising our appreciation muscle.

There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t take notice of at least one bird. While birds are especially vocal at this time of year (spring in the northern hemisphere), it is a great time to tune our ears in to hear their soundtrack. Keeping a bird café filled year-round ensures I am able to gawk at these many beauties year-round, and seeing them, consciously paying attention to another member of our wildlife community go about their life helps me put into perspective that we really do share this planet, and without them, it wouldn’t be as special. An anchor to the present moment and to the wider world.

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19. Befriend yourself

Become your own trusted anchor in a storm or in a regular run-of-the-mill day of life. Our chosen anchors work because we are the captain that chooses when and what to plop into the sea to hold us steady. When we rely on others (individuals or an institution) to provide what we need to be an anchor, we give away the control that was ours to begin with. If we have never been our own anchor, this will be scary, or we may be doubtful that we can be our own anchor, but it is only scary because we’ve never done it before. This doesn’t mean, as was shared in #3, that we can’t find nourishment in the company of other people, pets, and sentient beings. We have chosen to share time in their presence because we are aware enough to know if they are nourishing and have the peace of mind due to our strengthened awareness to know that we can step away or change the situation because we are independent in our thinking and equipped with skills in non-violent communication to speak up for our needs and honor our boundaries.

To befriend ourselves is one of the most peace-giving anchors we can give to ourselves. Even with the anchors shared here in 1-18, when we discover that an anchor that used to work is no longer working, we trust ourselves to figure out what will, and that too is a fun journey of self-exploration. As we reflect back on anchors from our past that no longer are part of our lives, we see that we have grown. Our growth requires that some, maybe many, anchors be changed to better support the version of ourselves that we now are.

Becoming our own friend comes easy when we are grounded in contentment, and then the little details that brighten up our days, many in the form of the anchors we have carefully chosen, become the ‘candy’ that adds the sweetness to life. This is how we find peace and calm in amidst whatever climate we find ourselves.

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Fundamentally, an anchor connects us to the self we want to nourish, and by doing so, we strengthen the life and life qualities we already value as well as welcome in qualities we are trying to add to our lives. The anchor helps us avoid distractions that would pull us off course.

“Neither should a ship rely on one small anchor, nor should life rest on a single hope.” —Epictetus

And here is another important aspect of having anchors in our days: The beauty of an anchor is that it still lets us travel, progress, and evolve because we can draw it up from the ground of the sea at any time. We choose. We are not cemented into one place. Rather, an anchor is a tool, and when we wisely utilize this tool, we see our lives flourish. We rest when we need, we hold steady with the assistance of the anchor when too many variables have caused a storm, and we wait for it to pass, making sure to be set adrift. Our anchor steadies us in patience, yet allows us to persist while also dancing with our days rather than dreading them.

How to Know What Your Daily Anchors Are

As you consider the anchors in your daily life, reflect upon days in your past when you felt unmoored – what was missing? What had you done (or hadn’t) on that day or what was (or wasn’t) part of your day that day that typically would/wouldn’t be? An example from my own life, when I don’t get my daily walk in, a good stretch of the legs, my mind will race and explore unhelpful topics, or I will just feel restless, much like a young pup who hasn’t had a chance to expend their energy and so gets themselves into trouble by doing something unconstructive.

Today, consider the anchors you already have in your daily life, and then take a moment to see if you can add or tweak to further the enjoyment of your everydays. You are the wise sailor, the knowledgeable captain. Trust your instincts and courageously be willing to adapt and let go while also knowing when to ground yourself and be still until you are best equipped to continue along your way.

Here’s to a wonderful start to the new week. Bonne journée.

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~Learn more about TSLL’s Contentment Masterclass. Discover the detailed syllabus, watch the trailer and read reviews.