Become a Member for as little as $4/mo and enjoy unlimited reading of TSLL blog.
“Although we make seek happiness and freedom outwardly, these qualities can only be discovered when we turn the mind inwards. When we remind ourselves and realize that they already exist.” —Andy Puddicombe
Early autumn mornings bathed in gentle light. A golden kiss seems to appear upon the garden as well as on Mother Nature’s foliage seen on our walks, and even the windows of the home receive a brush of brilliant color from the sunrise.
To live mindfully is talked about quite a bit, and here on TSLL that is no exception. In fact, TSLL has an entire Mindfulness category in the Archives dedicated to the topic. The concept may appear complex or ‘extra’, but in actuality, it is simple – holding our attention fully in the present moment and being capable of not reacting to distractions that pull us away from the Now (i.e. phone notifications, news alerts, planning tomorrow in our heads or trying to solve an unwanted even that occurred earlier in the day); and it a fundamental skill in living the life that brings us to life.
Since there are many posts and podcast episodes about what Mindfulness is, what I wanted to do today is share an example of an ordinary day lived mindfully. Beginning the day as we wake up and taking us all the way through until we turn in for the night, we’ll explore what it might look like to live mindfully, and conclude by sharing how this shift in conscious and intentionally living elevates the quality of our life.
Much of our day, if we aren’t mindfully living, is spent wanting something to happen, wanting someone to do something for us, wanting something that we don’t already possess but that we think, whenever these ‘things’ materialize, we will finally be happy. So long as we hold that idea in our mind, we prevent the exact thing that we say we want from being part of our life – happiness.
Andy Puddicombe shares a truth that once we understand, we become far closer to toward living a life of contentment and our everydays beginning to soar with enjoyment, and oodles of moments to savor.
“A pattern of behavior of thinking that drives this idea that if we can only have a certain thing, possess a certain thing, if we can only be with a certain person, and if we can only live in a certain place, that if we can just have these things, then everything will be okay, and then we will be happy. As long as we’re involved in that cycle [of thinking ‘if I only had *insert the small or large change/addition desired*], then we’re caught up in an endless stream of desire, just wanting, wanting, wanting.” —Andy Puddicombe
Even the most seasoned meditator will catch themselves wanting something that is currently not part of their life that they imagine if only it was, life would be far more peaceful, or bring more happiness. The difference between this person and a person without the mindfulness skill is that the meditator will notice that their mind has drifted away from the Present moment, and they will be able to bring it back, place themselves wholly in the Present moment, and remind themselves of all that is with and around them to appreciate. This may happen multiple times throughout the day or only a couple of times depending upon the day’s events, but the difference is noticing when we slip away from the Present moment. That is the skill we must choose to learn to savor the gifts of being mindful.
“If we’re able to step out of that, even for a moment, then we find ourselves in the Present moment and we find that actually, that happiness, that contentment, that we were seeking, it was here all along.” —Andy Puddicombe
So let’s begin a new day, shall we? Whether it’s Monday, Thursday, Saturday, you name the day, it has all the potential to be wonderful no matter how ‘ordinary’ it may appear.
Our intention is to live mindfully. Mindfulness is about observation without criticism, and that right there has the ability to take a lot of stress off our plate when we no longer react with judgment. Instead, we remind ourself that we are going to observe. In Mindfulness: Finding Peace in a Frantic World, authors Mark Williams and Danny Penman share, “Mindfulness allows [us] to catch negative thought patterns before they tip [us] into a downward spiral. It begins the process of putting [us] back in control of [our] life.”
How we put ourselves back in control of our life is by consciously choosing routines and rituals that hold us in the present moment. “Over time, mindfulness brings about long-term changes in mood and levels of happiness and well-being.” Our job then is to understand how mindfulness shows up in our everyday life, and to put those skills and practices to work each day.
“You will achieve most through establishing new routines in support of any new principle you introduce to your life . . . Incremental advances, constantly pursued, become permanent qualities. You conquer a summit by chipping away at the mountain trail. Happiness is not the result of erratic change. Back your intent with small, conscious shifts in your daily conduct.” —Kevin Horsely and Louis Fourie, authors of The Happy Mind: A Simple Guide to Living a Happier Life Starting Today
Let’s begin a new day, and do so mindfully all the way through . . .
Waking Up
Whether or not we have slept a full 8-9 hours, whether or not we woke up with an alarm or naturally without one, whether or not we had pleasant dreams or nightmares, once our eyes flutter open and it is time to get out of bed, how we perceive this occasion sets the tone for the entire day.
Have a glass of water placed by your bed on the bedside table, and take a good long drink of water when you first wake up. This benefits us immediately in a couple of ways. First, our body is dehydrated after having slept all night. This first big drink of water gives the body what it needs (not caffeine, simply hydration). Then, water additionally helps to jumpstart our metabolism and begins to flush out metabolic waste. You can also add a squeeze of lemon to your water, and room temperature is best for your body’s ability to take more water with your first gulp without brain freeze (too cold) or burning your mouth/tongue (too hot).
Additionally, if you are a mouth-breather, this helps to rid that funky mouth feeling we wake up with before we step into the bathroom and brush our teeth.
Most importantly, what we are doing when we first wake up is acknowledging, even when we cannot control how our sleep went (unconscious dreams, etc.), that we can immediately shift to a constructive place of being in the now when we are prepared. Place that glass of water by the bedside table the night before, and have it ready to be enjoyed when you wake up. Instant mood lifter and a good start to a new day.
Morning Rituals
Designing a morning routine sprinkled with rituals (note that there is a difference, and you can learn about how a ritual is different from a routine here, but both wonderfully helpful) is the necessary gift we each can give ourselves that changes the tone of the day from minute-one.
Frequently talked about here on TSLL, this post in particular shares ideas for a wonderful morning of consciously chosen rituals, rituals elevate our everydays from ordinary to extraordinary.
The ultimate goal is to awaken fully, energize and prepare fully for the day ahead. All of that while ensuring we are enjoying ourselves, and that is where the mindfulness skill comes into play. And why rituals need to be present. We can go through the motions with our routines and/or habits, but our rituals require us to be fully present, savoring what we are doing and how we are doing them, and all that is around us in that moment. So long as our morning routine has rituals, then we are living mindfully.
Treasure the first sip of your morning tea. Throw open the curtains and gaze out at the morning sky, noting the dew on the trees, and the freshness of the day. Snuggle with your pup, your cat, your partner before rushing out of bed. Consciously refrain from checking anything outside of your physical world that might throw your mind off balance until you are prepared to read/watch it mindfully (without criticism or judgment or reaction). Wait to read your emails, wait to check your phone, wait to check the daily news briefing. Wait. First, meditate, ensure you have control of your mind, write in your journal all that you are grateful for, then, open the door to the world because now you are ready to bring your full presence and agility of mind to whatever greets you.
Work, Responsibilities, Productivity Tasks
How fortunate are we to have a job to do! Whatever our responsibilities are throughout our day, we have the opportunity to give, connect, share, and be a part of something that contributes (and pays the bills!). Even if we may not want to do this work forever or for much longer, when we shift our mindset to give fully while we are there, we demonstrate awareness that we have something to learn, to gain that perhaps we haven’t absorbed fully yet, or maybe, haven’t finished the prerequisite skills that we will need to advance where we next wish to go.
When I reflect on my years of teaching, I know that being qualified to teach AP Language required previous years of experience and training before I would be considered to teach the course. By wanting something we don’t have, we pull ourselves out of where we are, refusing to see what we are being given even if it isn’t where we would prefer to be. This awareness of understanding what ‘wanting’ does (pulls us out of being fully present right where we are), gives us the keys to return to the present.
Yes, we can set goals, we can choose to advance in our careers, change our life path in some way, but once we set our intention and point ourselves in the direction we need and want to go, then, we need to settle back down and engage fully where we are. Our true self is revealed by how we handle where we are now. What will people see, how will we be remembered, how did we contribute when we were given the opportunity to do so? There are so many wonderful moments in our work day, even if it is a job we love, that after a while, we may take for granted that we once longed to be able to have this particular job. Reflect long enough to remember how far you have come, and practice gratitude – for the freedom to make your own schedule, to be trusted with so much responsibility, whatever it may be, because I am confident you have much to be grateful for and savor during your day.
Midday Break
Whenever ‘mid-day’ arrives for you, be able to step away from the work desk, from the computer, from whatever task you are working on, and especially if it isn’t yet complete and let it breathe without your company. It will be there when you return. Now, at midday, it is time to feed yourself, turn your face to the sun or step outside giving your eyes and your mind a break.
Just breathe. Don’t think. Rest your body, rest your mind, put down the problem-solving, sip some water, nibble on some satiating food. Leave the screens in your purse, on your desk, anywhere that isn’t with you. Your mind needs to be in the real-world right now. Anytime we are looking at our screens – social media, news, etc. – we are not present. Therefore, we are not being mindful. If we can remember this truth, we can become more discerning about how often and what we look at, as well as why we choose to look at it.
During my own midday break, during which time I have my lunch, there isn’t an exact time I break for lunch on any given day, but when I do, I take my food outside on the porch (weather permitting), and honestly, I just sit, eat and look around me. Nelle sits on the porch with me and asks for a shared nibble of which I happily share, and I remind myself that there is more to the world than my computer screen. I may take a short walk to stretch our legs (Nelle’s and my own). I may go to town and have lunch, but it is all done sans screens. Sometimes a physical book will accompany me, and this too holds me in the Now because nothing can pop up on a screen and distract me from my chosen activity – reading.
Whatever you do during your ‘midday’ break, do so intentionally, and make sure you are holding yourself in the present moment – seeing all that is without ‘have-tos’ knocking at your door nor tending to work tasks or responsibilities. This is your time. And speaking of your personal time . . .
Self-Nourishment Time
At some point during the day, make sure you take time to do something that nourishes you. And then while you are engaged in doing these activities, fully savor them. (Learn how to fully savor anything that brings us nourishment in this detailed post.)
This source of nourishment will likely be different each day depending on a variety of factors, so whether it is a favorite walk you take, a rendezvous with a friend, colleague or a partner, watching a film or show, reading a book that holds your attention with keen interest, taking a bath, meeting up with a local group of fellow lovers of [insert a particular hobby], partaking in your favorite hobby at home – gardening, knitting, sketching, playing a musical instrument, pottery; an appointment with a therapist, watching a comedy sketch at a local haunt, learning a new skill just for you, hiking a new or long-loved trail, a physical workout – run, yoga, pilates, cycling, paddling, skiing, visiting a skincare specialist for your regular facial, pedicure, getting a massage, etc.
Sometimes it is the case that we have to plan or book these nourishing events in advance long before we know how necessarily they will be based on the events in our life leading up to that appointment, outing, etc. This makes it all the more important that we regularly schedule such nourishment as a necessity because we know we will need it. And even if all is going well in our life, such nourishment can only lift our days all the more, and this is all to our benefit to be able to be more fully present, exercise more awareness of ourselves and others and be open to connecting, caring and having the energy to follow our curiosity.
On the occasion, which also is likely just as often going to happen, that we don’t have to make an appointment and can honor what we need for nourishment at a moment’s notice, let yourself tailor with precision as to what you need, and then, engage fully in what you choose. Whether it is choosing how long your walk will be today and where you will take it, or which book you will read or how long you will potter in the garden or spend in the studio working on your art, give yourself what you need. Your nervous system, thus your well-being, will thank you by giving you energy to move and engage lovingly and with integrity throughout the rest of the day and week.
Evening Meditation
A daily habit that I have been wanting and knew I would benefit greatly from but it took some time to incorporate it has been bookending my day with meditation. Since meditating in the morning has been well embedded into my morning ritual for many years, the new addition of evening meditation has been a tussle. However, recently, I shared my dilemma with my yoga instructor and she reminded me to keep it simple. Meditate in bed, right before you settle in with your book, your journal or snuggle in to enjoy a night of sleep. Simply sit up straight, sit comfortably (cross-legged or otherwise, whatever works for you), and meditate. Done. Now, I am currently doing this each night.
Preparing the mind for sleep
Whenever you turn in at night, do so a few minutes or 30 minutes before you hope to fall asleep. This time before helps to prepare the mind to unwind, relax and protect it from being jarred alert by any screens, news, shows or activities.
Significant mindfulness touches will be to your sleeping space. Granted, this takes time, and isn’t something we can do in one evening, but knowing how an environment’s colors, light and textures calm us or contrarily, prevent us from unwinding when applied to how we decorate, helps to encourage our mind and body to prepare for sleep.
In my primary bedroom (a glimpse is shared below), while it took over three years to bring the entire space to what I had envisioned, now, each evening I step foot in this room, my heartbeat slows down, a spontaneous sigh is exhaled and a smile appears on my face. I gratefully get ready for bed in this tech-free zone, and my pups do too. Each of them, Oscar, Norman and Nelle have retreated to the bedroom when it is their bed-time if I am not ready to do so yet, and asked to be put on the bed so they could go to sleep. They feel peace in this room too, and that speaks volumes of the value of my investment.
Middle of the night ‘awake’ moments
There will be nights for us all, for a variety of different reasons, when we wake up prematurely. I shared with TOP Tier members in this Ponderings . . . post a helpful (and detailed) PDF guide as to what actually is going on in our mind and nervous system when this happens and why it can be difficult to fall back to sleep when we don’t understand the science. However, when we have the skills and knowledge, we can absolutely bring ourselves back to a state of deep sleep.
The key is to be mindful of our emotions, our mind and our nervous system. When we give ourselves this knowledge, we set ourselves free from being held hostage by a stress day, a noisy neighbor or a hot flush.
When we begin to live mindfully, many benefits emerge, but the most powerful is clarity. With clarity we begin to witness how our daily life prior to using the skill of mindfulness found us getting in our own way with how we engaged with others and especially viewed and treated ourself. Often, this awakening to our reality of how we come across (distracted, short, rushed, lacking depth of curiosity thus appearing not to care, etc.), and how our thoughts and words affect others as well as ourselves, prompts us to live differently – more lovingly, with more kindness AND with more courage to live life now. No more waiting. No more wanting to be happy because happiness, yes, contentment is possible, is available to be realized right now.
“Mindfulness doesn’t directly ‘treat’ our difficulties, but instead reveals and brings a penetrating yet kindly awareness to their underlying driving forces. It deals with the subliminal themes of all our lives. And when these are held up to the light of awareness, something remarkable happens: the negative themes gradually start dissolving of their own accord . . when we let go of seeing this as an enemy we must overcome – [the endless striving, tunnel vision and brooding, getting lost in our own thoughts, being driven by autopilot, consumed by negativity and abandon ing the things that nourish our soul], all of these tendencies are able to melt away in the light of openhearted awareness.” — Mark Williams and Danny Penman
Living a mindful life isn’t difficult when we know how it shows up in our life. It may appear difficult if we haven’t been the one’s designing our own schedule, and so now we are being asked to have a voice, express what we need and stand firmly in ensuring that those needs (not wants) are met. While it may take time to usher in fully all that would nourish us best, with the clarity we gain from being mindful, we will know which decisions to make that will be best for our journey.
When we start to make decisions that nourish us better now, it is a positive snowball effect that makes it easier to choose wisely as we move forward because we begin to experience how amazing life can feel while we are living it, not in our imagination of what it might be like down the road if only [fill in the blank of what we think is lacking at this moment]. It all begins with consciously holding ourselves in the present and giving our full attention without judgment. When we catch ourselves slipping into the negative, and because we are being mindful we will be able to catch ourselves, we can bring ourselves back to right now and all that we do have control over – our thoughts, our words and our actions. Choose wisely and our life rewards us in spades of contentment, fulfillment and thus oodles of happy moments to savor.
SIMILAR POSTS YOU MIGHT ENJOY
~Dive deeply into living mindfully in your life when you enroll in TSLL’s Contentment Masterclass. View the detailed syllabus of the course here.
